jus gt bck frm dance pract n hanging out wiv my bro n seriously im feeling all ...lik mixed up? bahz!
it's lik b4 power jazz started, audrey, xiao tian, vivian and i were talking then suddenly audrey bought up the subject of the production
audrey: hey i heard ann choose the freshie for the productiong liao..as in dance with seniors de
me: who !?
audrey: she only chose 3 and it's jaei nicole n oreo
i dunno to b happy or sad la. cos the fact is ann only chose 3 and it's only gonna b dat 3 so i din kena la. Feeling quite disappointed cos dat means i'm not that good enuff and all but on the other hand, it means slightly more time for apart from practise. But i feel more disappointment than happy.
Surely anyone has been in this situation rite. U really hoped for smth n u hope to get it but in the end u don't. Ah well, i jus have to work hard n do well for my production item then. Justin my senior also told me as long i persevere, work hard n become good ann will take notice..so ya. Whats more...justin said he'll teach me breakin! n maybe i'll convince mouse to teach me a bit of popping...i tink i hav to beg him though...alalalalala
was out wiv my bro later then at dinner we started talking bout our parents. i dunno, i jus feel that my dad has changed. It's lik he had turned rather unreasonable, oversensitive n grouchy. I dun feel that i can talk to him anymore. As in, i used to talk to him about anything, even my friendship problems but now i dun even tink i can talk to him bout my sch stuff. It's jus my dad is not lik wad he used to be. even my bro tinks dat he has changed. according to him, dad changed since his narrow escape from a car accident...
i also feel that the reason why we're getting rather distanced from my dad apart frm sch n work, is dat my dad spends majority of his time on fixing computers for others. Can u believe it...my dad even talks bout computer at dinner time. *sigh*
and dad n mum has been quarelling quite a lot. bro n i talked bout the few we heard, each of diff sides; as in my bro heard one dat the quarrel was started by my mum n mine was started by my dad.
Jus tis morning, mum n dad quarrelled again...over a very trival matter n dad kindda started it. Mum was jus asking dad if there were enough boxes to pack our stuff then dad said smth which i din hear then suddenly dad exploded and shouted at mum. Could tell mum was stunned from the way she argued back then they quarrelled for almost half an hour or so b4 mum stomped out for work.
was in my room then and the quarrel was making me feel sick. Dad n mum has been quarreling so much over trival matters so often recently that i can't help thinking they may eventually get a divorce... The only time mum n dad seem to be fine talking was when dad is lecturing me. Dad lectures, mum adds oil to it. well at least that will b once they do get along...
very much felt lik breakin down aft dat but i think i shouldn't. I've grown pretty soft recently n cried quite often..unlike last time, no matter hw hard the blow is im still one crazy brat blowing my top only n do fine aft dat. I dun mention such things often to ppl i noe. i get worried that i may jus break dwn in front of 'em talking bout it and i dun lik 'em to see me crying..that may jus set 'em worrying for me which i don't wish to see happening.
ah wadeva, i have dance n projs to keep things off my mind. speaking of projs...so gonna start tml..meeting karen in the morning b4 nra....argh!