I've been meaning to blog bout this for a long long time but i jus didn't have the time or rather i jus felt a tinge of conscious but at this stage i doubt i'm the one without a conscious. Apprantly this post is "dedicated" to this specific person and i'll make it so goddamn obvious i'm talking bout her cos most of the time when i'm "shooting" her she jus dun get my hint and jus go on n on repeating her wad she does
1. I hate ppl delibrately talking bout a secret which they don't want me to know
OH fuck goddammit! if u dun wan ppl ard you know about the secret ya sharing with your clinque. Why discuss it infront of others? Lik wads your motive? Show off to others that many trusted you telling them your secrets or trying to make us jealous because u know a lot. Frankly, I'm not jealous, i'm jus pissed off n disgusted everytime you do that. It's jus goes to show hw insensetive you are.
It jus sets me thinking you enjoy seeing ppl begging you to share the secret, thus giving you the feeling ya in the upperhand. If u do find joy in that..i'm grossed out..pui! yes i used to ask u wad about but i've smarten up, no point asking u cos u'll neva tell. And mind you, i'm not the only who's pissed off bout this already. The worse thing is, when i've told you if u don't want me to know anything, don't discuss it in front of me with your friend, do it behind closed doors or something. And wads your response? U did nth! in fact you continue ranting on n on lik you didn't hear wad i said at all.
I don't even think my existence matters to you anymore. Yes u may say that somethings others or i cannot know then lemme say..wads the point of u discussing in front of us to spark our curiousity n make us ask u wads going on? if anyone is gonna side her for this, put yourself in me or anyone's shoe n ask yourself, will u feel gd? i can seriously tell u the feeling is so fucking great that u wished u either kill yourself or cut away your ears =)
2. I hate ppl to talk with codes
Same applied to wads on top. If u don't other to know, FUCKING TALK BOUT IT IN PRIVATE.
3. I hate unappreciative people [and this, i hate to the core]
i marvel at myself for wad extraordinary lvl of tolerance i had for u for ur unappreciativeness. For others i may hav jus showed them the middle finger n walk away. Maybe it's because i was stupid enough to think our friendship will go back wad it used to b during sem 1. But i was proven wrong again n again. Multiple times i've help you, the last one was completing your maths assignment vonluntarily for u when u couldn't finish so u will get dat 5%, i jus dun wan to see u repeat the whole module and wad i gt in return? Not a word of thks and when we're walking bck aft dinner u jus neglected me n chatted happily with your friends. Wad do u take me for seriously? A tool u can make sure of ? a "friend" whom u go to when ur friends are not ard ? A few times i jus asked you to help me write my student number for IPC. For that time, i mentioned to u b4 i was at the risk of getting debar for IPC but surprise surprise! You 4gt bout it n when i told ya i gt a 2nd warning letter...or u can say is "huh". I kindda suspect if u even felt a tinge of remorse at all or u jus dun giv a damn whether i can take my exam a not.
4. Spare a thought for others
Maybe i've been paranoid but i jus feel ya turning to a self-center glob.U think the world revolve ard u n when u get the attention, nth matters to u anymore. Seriously, have u ever thot about the amt of stress ur bf may b under trying to make u happy? I kinda hate myself for this because all the time i'm listening to ur side of the story n neva heard of his. I may not know the full story but well, ur bf is probably stressing everyday hw to be a better bf. Then all u do is complain that his not initiative enuff etc. Ever considered his a vrigin in a BGR n ya not? And wad did u do to help him, hanging out with other guys. I'm not saying it's wrong to hang out with guy frenz when u have a bf but behaving too closely, don't u tink ya bf will b jealous? U may say ur fren is ur ah gong or kor but still u gotta b more INITIATIVE n automatic. Ur bf may appear lik he doesn't care but deep inside, he's probably raging already...any normal guy would feel jealous if their gal behave too closely to other guys. Seriously i think he's the one without a sense of security thats why he's lacking in confidence.
secondly, when u haven even work out ur own relationship, why bother bout other's relationship? u tink ya protecting ya fren but ya wrong. U jus added stress for her. U may not lik the guy she's with but there's a reason why she chose him for a bf. As u know from the day we know her, she neva wanted to go into a relationship because she dun trust men. There muz b smth in that guy that made her trust him so jus trust her judgement. You said our fren is vulnerable but haven u 4get she's a very smart gal too? So jus do her a favour n don't b so hostile to him.
Thirdly, if u don't lik/hate somebody, don't try to force others to hate them too. I mean ppl who are ignorant or neutral to the situation. It's lik if u don't lik then don't like la why pull other neutral parties into ur anti-association? So everybody will hate her n she'll feel left out? That not wad GL is about ain't it? ultimately u'll have to work with her in GL so why make an enemy when u can jus b a neutral party. Yea yea u can say i dunno anything thats why i can put things this way. Ya i admit i dunno anything because u din even tell me in the 1st place! I so "appreciated" you for doing that..thks..ya such a GREAT pal. For now i'm neither taking side with u nor the gal u dislike in this situation because i don't even know who to believe in the 1st place. U can even maling her of copying my bloggin style which she didn't at all. Face it, ya jus trying to find fault so u can make me hate her too. Lik i told u umpteen times, if u dun lik wad she writes they why go read her blog?
5. It all sums up to..
Frankly, i felt the frienship was going weaker day by day since the semester holidays. You changed for the worse. You used to b considerate, sensetive, caring and all but now...i tink ya kinda childish n blunt nowadays. Last time when i seemed unhappy or pissed off, u'll always coem n give me a word of concern, now..i dunno if u are really unaware or purposely dismiss about hw i feel. i'm not being over-sensetive..ask yourself hw would u feel if i'd treated u lik dat. And u if wan everyone's attention so b it, i jus hope u don't 4get bout ur frenz who nid ur concern cos i think mos of us are left in the dark when ya in the limelight. U can feel hurt reading this post but the amt of hurt u feel is only the peak of the iceberg of hw i felt. There's more i would wan to say but i dunno hw to put in the right so thats all for now. I seriously wish the frienship could still b maintain but now it's lik a ticking time bomb, sooner or later i'll bth n poof there goes everything.